If You Seek...

It seems like ages ago when I rambled on happily about looking for a new job, excited about applying for assistant manager positions and day dreaming about my own cooking show. I was so confident that it wouldn't be long before I was bossing people around in a new job. Silly me.

It didn't take too long before the reality of job hunting set in. Its hard, frustrating, time consuming and really depressing. I don't mean in a "oh no, I still haven't found a job, lets drink wine" kinda way, I mean " Oh my god I can't find a job, I don't know what I'm looking for, I'm really stupid, I can't do anything, I just want to go to sleep for awhile" kinda way. Its clear to me now, that the reason so many people stay unemployed for such long periods of time is because they're just sad. They are miserable, lost, and have largely given up hope.
I know how they feel. My confidence faded pretty fast when I wasn't getting any interviews for the assistant manager positions I was so confident I could do with my eyes closed. I had to look at my options, very few and far between, and started applying for the shit kicker jobs I have always done. Its soul destroying to apply for jobs, any jobs, because you just really need the cash. It feels bad to tell people how much you really want to work with them, when in fact you just really need to work... any where. Applying for jobs you're qualified to do is not the same as applying for jobs you would love to do. There is a big difference between doing what you've always done and trying something new. Its easy to show someone what you can already do.. not so easy to show them what you think you're capable of.
Firstly, do I even have any transferable skills (employment lingo) that I could possibly use? Should I bother tailoring my cover letter and resume when I'm pretty sure I won't get the interview any way? Why don't I just stay in the dead end job I already have and hope for the best? This is how negative it starts to get in my head. So I began sending out almost random job applications. I applied for jobs I didn't necessarily want, but knew I could do. Lazily only using Seek to do the dirty work, not doing any of the pro active things they tell you about: cold canvassing, cold calling, networking.
The "they" I'm referring to are the people in our public services whose job it is to help you get a job. After three months receiving Centrelink payments and handing in the godforsaken diary they make you fill out every fortnight, you are then required to attend a two week job-search training class. When I learned of this fact by letter, I basically threw a tantrum my three year old god daughter would be proud of. "Its a waste of time", "I've heard it all before", it'll be a class full of white trash" (a judgemental cow even when I'm an unemployed bum) !! Mr Frog tried his best to placate me with "well, you haven't had an interview for awhile, maybe there's something wrong with your resume, maybe you're doing something wrong".... I wanted to throw my shoe at his head, but of course I couldn't really argue with that logic. The interviews I'd already had led no where, and had recently dried up. So I pouted for a while and tried to forget about it until the time came. When it did, I whinged that I didn't want to go, but having no choice in the matter (if I didn't go, my benefits would be cancelled. I wasn't getting paid anyway, due to the few hours I was getting at my old job. It was a "just in case" measure) I decided to try and make the most of it. The class was of course, a mixed bag of people, some really keen to get a job, others couldn't seem to care less, and a couple of negative nancy's who had brought my original tantrum all the way into class. I on the other hand, found myself getting more and more positive as the days wore on. I have always been a sucker for the kind of class that makes you ask yourself some important questions, the kind that gets you thinking about the person you are, or were, or would like to be one day.

During the course of these two weeks, without help from my class, I finally got a few more interviews, and was so confident that I started worrying about which job to take. Then - I got a call from a book store. Suddenly, I was excited and looking forward to having an interview and selling myself as much as possible. In the end it was a choice between two jobs: 2IC at a book store, or sales assistant at a fancy mens/ladies label. Being a Libran, the fact that I had two job offers to choose from was not the blessing it sounds like... I can't decide between tea and coffee most days and this choice almost sent me over the edge. I made numerous pro/con lists, discussed my options with the key people in my life and then thought about it some more. This was a choice between staying with what I know and remaining relatively comfortable, and jumping into unknown territory and testing out the bright ideas I'd had at the beginning of all this. Luckily, it seems when I am faced with being safe or being brave, I choose to be brave. This is a quality I am only just realising I have. In fact as I wrote that last bit is when I realised.

What a nice surprise.