And Still...

So. Long time no see.

It's been not quite two years since my last post, when I smugly bragged about my perfect new job. Since then, I've changed stores, been promoted to Manager, almost pulled my hair out with stress, gotten totally bored, been inspired by a chick flick, and then, just as I was about to do wonderful things, made redundant. Yep, the company I worked for has gone into administration, closing down stores left, right and centre. It was a horrible time, following a horrible time before that, and now, it's all over. My shop has closed, and I am unemployed.

Now what?

I should add, that within these almost two years, Mr Frog and I have been engaged, planned three weddings, been married three times and spent four weeks in France. Not bad for the girl who thought she'd never feel the "afternoon sun" on her face.

Now what?

Well, to begin with, a job would be good. Before that though, I need to work out what I want to do with myself. I am desperate for a job I love. For a job that has me creating something instead of serving customers who ask for "that book "Macbeth"". It's a play people!!!

So far on the self discovery journey, I have managed to uncover that I need to be doing something creative, or at least be around people who are.

Hmmm... not really a strong lead is it?

I have enlisted the help of books "What Colour is your Parachute" and "Your Dream Career For Dummies" in order to help unlock my true calling. I used to think, in fact I used to believe wholeheartedly that my calling was to be on stage , on film, entertaining the world. That dream ebbed away without me even realising it. Before I knew it, I had stopped even dreaming about it, just doing what I could to make ends meet and rarely even managing that. Eventually coming to the conclusion, that while I may indeed light up on a stage, I don't have the drive or the ambition to make it happen. That was a very hard lesson, and a very sad goodbye to a much loved dream, and indeed, my sole reason for moving to Melbourne.

I wondered then why I shouldn't just move back to Canberra, now my reason for leaving was no longer relevant. Why not go home, be with the people who love and miss me? But I couldn't. I just couldn't find a good enough reason to go.. and only one reason to stay.

The possibilities.

And so here I stand, with endless possibilities before me and not a clue what to do with them.

I am still, Searching For Sam.....